Pregnant With a Promise: The Labor and Delivery Process Caused Me So Much Pain

I’ve never given birth in the natural, but if it is anything like I felt when I was in my most recent season of change- what I like to call a birthing season- wow, oh wow. Let me tell you! I was emotional, in pain, agony, distress, discomfort, restless and irritable. I wanted to get out what was inside of me, but I was so tired from all the pushing. My body was aching in ways that it had never ached before.  The emotional push from people that were around me was exhausting. My energy was being depleted. What was inside of me was so BIG, but I didn’t have enough energy to birth it. The tension was intense. The random kicks and movements were constant reminders that there was something alive in me- something that I felt was long overdue. The sleepless nights were many and the morning sickness was treacherous.  I just wanted this thing out of me. I wanted what was inside of me, but I didn’t know the process would cause the pain and suffering that it did. Through the pain, I had to stay focused and give myself constant reminders of what I was expecting. I knew that after delivery, I’ll be smiling, but it’s the process leading up to and including delivery that had me in tears. I was begging for help. I wanted someone to hold my hand, to talk me through this, to lend me their support. I was being stretched- stretched like I’ve never been stretched before. This was a pain that you would have to experience for yourself to really know the true magnitude of it. I was crying out for relief as I was pushing through the process with great anticipation of what was to come. On the other side of the pain, there was going to be the manifestation of the vision that was conceived during a time of darkness. I knew I was going to give birth to something great—far more than what I could imagine with my natural mind. The umbilical cord of what I was used to and comfortable with had to be cut for me to be able to experience the bundle of joy that I had been carrying for a very long time.